"I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn" (I. Corinthians 7:8-9).
The above statement was spoken by Paul to the church of Corinth in an attempt to answer their questions and concerns about marriage. As a single, Christian woman in the 21st century, it seems to me that it gets harder and harder to date. But (there's always a BUT) I am, by no means complaining about the restrictions placed on Christian dating. Whatever the next person does is to their discretion, but the God I serve rewards faithfulness and obedience, so I have made the decision to live according to His will no matter what; not onlybecause of the rewards/benefits, but because its the right thing to do. (Sidebar: Its not possible to "walk the walk" on Sunday, and not "talk the talk" Monday-Saturday. If that's what you do, then hey, thats your decision, but it doesnt make much sense.) With that being said, by no means do I think that I am perfect because of the way I've chosen to live my life, but I do feel that I have a lot to offer to a relationship outside of my spirituality. I'm pursuing my Bachelor's degree, have my own things, have a good job, but my only "downfall" is that I place restraints on the physical aspects of relationships. Meaning, that I am practicing absitnence until I am married. Its funny because while most men "claim" they desire a woman who hasn't been around the block a few times, most of them haven't thought of the reality of those words. I find that when I tell a man of my situation, they typical response is "I respect your decision, but I can't live with it" or "So how do you have fun?" That second response really threw me for a loop when I heard it, which set a trigger in my mind that the conversation with this person was null and void LOL. And honestly, these responses boggle my mind for a number of reasons. Let me explain...I understand completely that most men will not be able to deal with the restriction I have. But what I dont understand is why men contradict themselves. I had one guy tell me that sex was not a big deal in a relationship for him, but when it came down to it, he told me that he could not be in a relationship with me because I would not have sex with him. Maybe I'm missing something; is that not a contradictory statement? I know I'm not supposed to understand the way a man's mind works, and by no means will I ever try to understand. What I do want to know is will things ever change. Like, will there ever be a breed of men who value abstinence and the women who practice it? Because right now, it seems that I'm the laughing stock of locker room discussion (LOL). Many people dont see how I have gone 22 years without any type of sexual activity, and my response to that is, "You cant miss something you've never had." I've prayed over this situation many times, and I've learned that I just must be patient. Until the time comes for me to be found by a man, that I must stand still in God's perfect will and accept things for what they are. I'm convinced that the right man is out there for me; one who will accept my faith as a Christian, and as a woman trying to live life the best way I know how: through Jesus Christ. Until next time ladies and gentlemen...may the peace of God be with you.
The above statement was spoken by Paul to the church of Corinth in an attempt to answer their questions and concerns about marriage. As a single, Christian woman in the 21st century, it seems to me that it gets harder and harder to date. But (there's always a BUT) I am, by no means complaining about the restrictions placed on Christian dating. Whatever the next person does is to their discretion, but the God I serve rewards faithfulness and obedience, so I have made the decision to live according to His will no matter what; not onlybecause of the rewards/benefits, but because its the right thing to do. (Sidebar: Its not possible to "walk the walk" on Sunday, and not "talk the talk" Monday-Saturday. If that's what you do, then hey, thats your decision, but it doesnt make much sense.) With that being said, by no means do I think that I am perfect because of the way I've chosen to live my life, but I do feel that I have a lot to offer to a relationship outside of my spirituality. I'm pursuing my Bachelor's degree, have my own things, have a good job, but my only "downfall" is that I place restraints on the physical aspects of relationships. Meaning, that I am practicing absitnence until I am married. Its funny because while most men "claim" they desire a woman who hasn't been around the block a few times, most of them haven't thought of the reality of those words. I find that when I tell a man of my situation, they typical response is "I respect your decision, but I can't live with it" or "So how do you have fun?" That second response really threw me for a loop when I heard it, which set a trigger in my mind that the conversation with this person was null and void LOL. And honestly, these responses boggle my mind for a number of reasons. Let me explain...I understand completely that most men will not be able to deal with the restriction I have. But what I dont understand is why men contradict themselves. I had one guy tell me that sex was not a big deal in a relationship for him, but when it came down to it, he told me that he could not be in a relationship with me because I would not have sex with him. Maybe I'm missing something; is that not a contradictory statement? I know I'm not supposed to understand the way a man's mind works, and by no means will I ever try to understand. What I do want to know is will things ever change. Like, will there ever be a breed of men who value abstinence and the women who practice it? Because right now, it seems that I'm the laughing stock of locker room discussion (LOL). Many people dont see how I have gone 22 years without any type of sexual activity, and my response to that is, "You cant miss something you've never had." I've prayed over this situation many times, and I've learned that I just must be patient. Until the time comes for me to be found by a man, that I must stand still in God's perfect will and accept things for what they are. I'm convinced that the right man is out there for me; one who will accept my faith as a Christian, and as a woman trying to live life the best way I know how: through Jesus Christ. Until next time ladies and gentlemen...may the peace of God be with you.
1 comment:
Hey hon! Just wanted to remind you that you are not alone in being the "laughing stock of the locker room". There are co-workers of mine who KNOW that I'm currently abstinent and yet, every now and again, find the need to ask me a question about it, as if my views will change suddenly for no real reason! It's sad to me that so man people have been deceived into thinking that relationships can't survive and even thrive without sex! But, just continue to wait! God's reward will be worth it!! And hey, if we are two women who are practicing abstinence, there HAVE to be two men somewhere in this world that are, too, right?
Be blessed! Tonyette
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